Catholic Hierarchy Roiled by Outbreak of Discourse

By The Pope’s Fool News Service
September 30, 2014

The Popes Fool News Service (We Make Stuff Up)VATICAN CITY (TPF) — In a first since the end of Vatican Council II, members of the hierarchy of the Catholic Church are engaging in public disputations. This phenomenon, harking back to medieval times when churchmen actually disagreed with each other, in public, on the critical issues of the day, has produced shockwaves among the faithful, generating news stories, blog posts, innumerable tweets, and the occasional rant. Dropping the usual obsequiousness with which members of the hierarchy treat each other, some Princes of the Church are busting out with unadorned honesty, unheard of among the gentility of the Church. Cardinal Raymond Burke, speaking of Cardinal Walter Kasper, who claims his position on reforming Church rules align with those of the Pope, threw this one out there: “I find it amazing that the cardinal claims to speak for the pope,” said Burke. “The pope doesn’t have laryngitis. The pope is not mute. He can speak for himself. If this is what he wants, he will say so.”

And Robert Mickens, of late returned from exile and writing his Letter from Rome for reports this: “Bishop Johan Bonny of Antwerp, a former official at the Pontifical Council for Promoting Christian Unity, has so far offered the most significant support of the Kasper position. In a 22-page paper he argued for carefully drafting a new approach to marriage and family life that would be marked by mercy, respect for individual conscience and even doctrinal developments. Like the cardinal, he has infuriated the self-styled guardians of Truth who loudly proclaim that Pope Francis does not support the Kasper-Bonny proposals, but who, privately, are not quite sure.”

Move over, Days of Our Lives!

Vatican Advises Lying No Longer Necessary for Marriage

By The Pope’s Fool News Service
September 15, 2014

The Popes Fool News Service (We Make Stuff Up)VATICAN CITY (TPF) — Cardinal Pizzicato, head of the Pontifical Council for Congregations, has issued an advisory to all diocese worldwide informing them that lying about co-habitation is no longer a requirement for Catholic preparation for the sacrament of matrimony. “We know the vast majority of young people don’t heed the Church’s teachings on matters sexual, or even go to church for that matter. So this advisory comes at a good time, to highlight the importance of transparency in the workings of the Church,” he said. “Anyway,” Cardinal Pizzicato continued, “Pope Francis just married 20 couples, some of whom had been living in sin. As you know, the Church is governed as an absolute monarchy, with the Head of State being the Pope. He has full legislative, executive, and judicial powers. So if it’s good enough for him,” the Cardinal said, throwing up his hands, “it’s good enough for me.”

Pizzicato told TPF that while the status quo, in which the faithful ignored the bishops and the bishops ignored the faithful ignoring them, has worked in the past, the winds of change are blowing in a new direction, and it’s incumbent upon the curial bureaucracy to look like it’s accommodating them.

The Vatican’s Congregation for Pontifical Councils quickly clarified that neither the Pope’s private conversations nor his public actions necessarily reflect church policy.