Vatican Advises Lying No Longer Necessary for Marriage

By The Pope’s Fool News Service
September 15, 2014

The Popes Fool News Service (We Make Stuff Up)VATICAN CITY (TPF) — Cardinal Pizzicato, head of the Pontifical Council for Congregations, has issued an advisory to all diocese worldwide informing them that lying about co-habitation is no longer a requirement for Catholic preparation for the sacrament of matrimony. “We know the vast majority of young people don’t heed the Church’s teachings on matters sexual, or even go to church for that matter. So this advisory comes at a good time, to highlight the importance of transparency in the workings of the Church,” he said. “Anyway,” Cardinal Pizzicato continued, “Pope Francis just married 20 couples, some of whom had been living in sin. As you know, the Church is governed as an absolute monarchy, with the Head of State being the Pope. He has full legislative, executive, and judicial powers. So if it’s good enough for him,” the Cardinal said, throwing up his hands, “it’s good enough for me.”

Pizzicato told TPF that while the status quo, in which the faithful ignored the bishops and the bishops ignored the faithful ignoring them, has worked in the past, the winds of change are blowing in a new direction, and it’s incumbent upon the curial bureaucracy to look like it’s accommodating them.

The Vatican’s Congregation for Pontifical Councils quickly clarified that neither the Pope’s private conversations nor his public actions necessarily reflect church policy.