Pope Francis Gives Progressives Acute Case of Cognitive Dissonance

By The The Pope’s Fool News Service
December 11, 2014

The Popes Fool News Service (We Make Stuff Up)VATICAN CITY (TPF) — Our sources in the Catholic Commentariat are reporting an alarming rise in the incidence of cognitive dissonance among the progressive cohort of the Roman Catholic Church. While discomfort among conservatives is to be expected, what with the Pope’s clear affection for the Good News of the Gospel and its valuing of love and mercy and whatnot, disturbances on the left come as more of a surprise.

Feathers have been ruffled. Noses have been bent out of joint. Umbrage has been taken.

The cohort appears to be resolving into two separate camps: The Aggrieved and The Apologists.

Progressive cognitive dissonance

On the one hand, the aggrieved progressives such as Sr. Mary Immaculata O’Finian O’Toole are outwardly indignant, citing in particular the flaws in the attitude Pope Francis takes toward women. “Feminine genius? Women theologians as the strawberries on the cake? I’ll give him strawberries,” she fumed. “Maybe even some raspberries!” The apologists, on the other hand, point to his age, his cultural context, as well as the peculiarities of rendering his words in English. “If you read what he says in the Italian,” said one apologist, “it’s only mildly insulting.”

The dissonance continues, and if nothing else, provides a spot of bitter joy for the otherwise beset conservatives.