Pope Declares Obsequiousness No Longer Fashionable; Wants Bishops to Man Up

By The The Pope’s Fool News Service
November 5, 2014

The Popes Fool News Service (We Make Stuff Up)VATICAN CITY (TPF) — Ending an unspoken code that has shaped communications among members of the hierarchy for decades, the Pope has quietly rescinded the practice of obsequiousness, wherein servile deference and fawning to one’s superiors is mirrored by expectations of unwavering obedience from one’s subordinates.

“Enough already,” said the Pope, in his weekly general audience in St. Peter’s Square today. “It’s sad when you see a man who seeks this office and who does so much to get there and when he makes it, he doesn’t serve, but struts like a peacock, living only for his own vanity,” the Pope said. “We don’t need sycophants and servile flatterers.”

Pope Francis

He said he wants the world’s bishops to be servants and shepherds who use their position to care for people and the faith, not to seek power and boost their pride. This is why the role of a bishop “is not a position of prestige or an honorary office,” he said. “It is a service. Jesus wanted it to be like this.”

Our correspondent on the ground in Vatican City reports feelings of confusion and betrayal among the ranks of many of the bishops, Vatican staffers, and Curial hangers-on. “That’s easy enough for the Pope to say,” muttered one. “He hasn’t been here for decades; he hasn’t been living with this stuff day in and day out for years on end. He expects us to change overnight. But it ain’t gonna happen.”

Catholic Hierarchy Roiled by Outbreak of Discourse

By The Pope’s Fool News Service
September 30, 2014

The Popes Fool News Service (We Make Stuff Up)VATICAN CITY (TPF) — In a first since the end of Vatican Council II, members of the hierarchy of the Catholic Church are engaging in public disputations. This phenomenon, harking back to medieval times when churchmen actually disagreed with each other, in public, on the critical issues of the day, has produced shockwaves among the faithful, generating news stories, blog posts, innumerable tweets, and the occasional rant. Dropping the usual obsequiousness with which members of the hierarchy treat each other, some Princes of the Church are busting out with unadorned honesty, unheard of among the gentility of the Church. Cardinal Raymond Burke, speaking of Cardinal Walter Kasper, who claims his position on reforming Church rules align with those of the Pope, threw this one out there: “I find it amazing that the cardinal claims to speak for the pope,” said Burke. “The pope doesn’t have laryngitis. The pope is not mute. He can speak for himself. If this is what he wants, he will say so.”

And Robert Mickens, of late returned from exile and writing his Letter from Rome for ww.globalpulsemagazine.com reports this: “Bishop Johan Bonny of Antwerp, a former official at the Pontifical Council for Promoting Christian Unity, has so far offered the most significant support of the Kasper position. In a 22-page paper he argued for carefully drafting a new approach to marriage and family life that would be marked by mercy, respect for individual conscience and even doctrinal developments. Like the cardinal, he has infuriated the self-styled guardians of Truth who loudly proclaim that Pope Francis does not support the Kasper-Bonny proposals, but who, privately, are not quite sure.”

Move over, Days of Our Lives!