By The The Pope’s Fool News Service
October 26, 2014
VATICAN CITY (TPF) — The Vatican Library reports that the Papal Infallibility Switch has been located after a long search in the Vatican Archives. A group of prelates from the Roman Curia has taken possession of it. “Who knew there was really a switch?” asked Cardinal Jann Lazzamotti, Prefect of the Pontifical Council for Tribunals. “But when we found it, we flipped that sucker right off,” he said. “It actually looked a little worse for the wear, which makes sense, considering all the mandatums and investigations and silencings of the past few decades, to say nothing of that whole ‘not infallible but irreformable’ thing, which also took a toll, if indirectly. And now that Francis is the Pope,” he continued, sighing, “It’s probably best to give it a rest.”
The Library also reports that the search continues for the Intrinsically Disordered Stamp, known as the Timbro Intrinsecamente Disordinati, which is rumored to exist yet has not been located, despite its constant use.